God truly does provide....
It's amazing how God comes through with what you need when you need it....
Yesterday was the worst day of work yet. I had multiple kids in crisis mode (I won't get into the individual stories...) and it was incredibly draining emotionally. Instead of going home at five as I was scheduled, I went to a house to do crisis intervention, it turned out I was only there a half hour, but was then on the phone all the way home with a couple of other families, and about a block from home got another call and had to turn around and go back to the original house. This also doesn't cover the other families that who had had crises during the day. I was supposed to be at the brothers' across the street for dinner between 6 and 6:30, but I told Casey on the way home (at 6:30) that I needed to go home and breathe for a few and then I'd be over. I got home, went to my room, sat in the dark and cried and prayed. It was just one of those days when everything is so overwhelming, when it seems as if nothing I was doing was making any headway, it was a day to wonder why God brought me here. And I asked God to show me something that would remind me.
I then composed myself, had dinner at the brothers (tho they commented that I was very quiet and introspective), came home, had prayer with Casey and Br. Michael, refused to 'debrief' with him and went to bed instead....cause, you know, holding it all in always helps.... I tossed and turned all night, and got up early to take a kid to school. This kid is my buddy, he is the one I have the best connection with, he always talks to me, and today he refused to talk to me about what happened to him last night, all I know is that something happened, but I don't know what. I dropped him off at school, and fought tears on the way back to the office. Today I'm not supposed to work until 1, but I needed to drop off our on-call phone and run-down my supervisor and fellow caseworker on all that happened last night and this morning. After that was done, about 10:00, I was finally going to come home for a couple hours. And then Pete walked in.
Pete is one of the director of the Tides Learning Center, the alternative school attached to our office. He told me they were having problems with one of the students, David, who is very depressed. All he knew was that David hadn't taken his meds, didn't have any, didn't want to go get any, and that he wanted to leave. Pete and the other school administrators were trying to keep him at school so they could help him. The problem was that David didn't want to talk to anyone, and the school's behaviorist wasn't in. So Pete asked if I could come talk to him, which was incredibly random, we've never been asked to come in on a school case unless they were also under our caseload, and I don't share any cases with them. I agreed (probably because I was too emotionally drained to even question it), but as I was walking over to the school I'm thinking to myself, I don't even know this kid, and probably more important, he doesn't know me, why would he agree to talk to me, what in the world am I going to talk to him about, and what kind of progress do they think I'm going to make.
Cut to two hours later, David and I have had a good conversation about everything from Oregon (he used to live there too), NYC and the empire state building, what defines a "punk," playing the guitar and more. We both even laughed a few times. But most importantly, he admitted to me that he is in a bi-polar low, that he doesn't want to go into an anxiety high, admitted how long he's been off his meds, had a decent conversation about what happens on and off meds, and finally had agreed to call his psychiatrist then and there to make an appointment for this afternoon and go back on meds tomorrow. And finally, he agreed to rejoin his classmates.
I don't know why this kid trusted me, I don't know what I did that worked, I don't know if he really will go back on meds tomorrow. But I know he felt better today and that an hour ago he made some positive steps.
I also know that I feel better. God answered my prayer and reminded me why I'm here. As I was writing this I remembered something that was said at orientation, though I couldn't tell you where, but I remember hearing someone say that if you influence one kid to make one positive decision, then all the work you do will be worth it.
Today I influenced one kid to make one positive decision.
Yesterday was the worst day of work yet. I had multiple kids in crisis mode (I won't get into the individual stories...) and it was incredibly draining emotionally. Instead of going home at five as I was scheduled, I went to a house to do crisis intervention, it turned out I was only there a half hour, but was then on the phone all the way home with a couple of other families, and about a block from home got another call and had to turn around and go back to the original house. This also doesn't cover the other families that who had had crises during the day. I was supposed to be at the brothers' across the street for dinner between 6 and 6:30, but I told Casey on the way home (at 6:30) that I needed to go home and breathe for a few and then I'd be over. I got home, went to my room, sat in the dark and cried and prayed. It was just one of those days when everything is so overwhelming, when it seems as if nothing I was doing was making any headway, it was a day to wonder why God brought me here. And I asked God to show me something that would remind me.
I then composed myself, had dinner at the brothers (tho they commented that I was very quiet and introspective), came home, had prayer with Casey and Br. Michael, refused to 'debrief' with him and went to bed instead....cause, you know, holding it all in always helps.... I tossed and turned all night, and got up early to take a kid to school. This kid is my buddy, he is the one I have the best connection with, he always talks to me, and today he refused to talk to me about what happened to him last night, all I know is that something happened, but I don't know what. I dropped him off at school, and fought tears on the way back to the office. Today I'm not supposed to work until 1, but I needed to drop off our on-call phone and run-down my supervisor and fellow caseworker on all that happened last night and this morning. After that was done, about 10:00, I was finally going to come home for a couple hours. And then Pete walked in.
Pete is one of the director of the Tides Learning Center, the alternative school attached to our office. He told me they were having problems with one of the students, David, who is very depressed. All he knew was that David hadn't taken his meds, didn't have any, didn't want to go get any, and that he wanted to leave. Pete and the other school administrators were trying to keep him at school so they could help him. The problem was that David didn't want to talk to anyone, and the school's behaviorist wasn't in. So Pete asked if I could come talk to him, which was incredibly random, we've never been asked to come in on a school case unless they were also under our caseload, and I don't share any cases with them. I agreed (probably because I was too emotionally drained to even question it), but as I was walking over to the school I'm thinking to myself, I don't even know this kid, and probably more important, he doesn't know me, why would he agree to talk to me, what in the world am I going to talk to him about, and what kind of progress do they think I'm going to make.
Cut to two hours later, David and I have had a good conversation about everything from Oregon (he used to live there too), NYC and the empire state building, what defines a "punk," playing the guitar and more. We both even laughed a few times. But most importantly, he admitted to me that he is in a bi-polar low, that he doesn't want to go into an anxiety high, admitted how long he's been off his meds, had a decent conversation about what happens on and off meds, and finally had agreed to call his psychiatrist then and there to make an appointment for this afternoon and go back on meds tomorrow. And finally, he agreed to rejoin his classmates.
I don't know why this kid trusted me, I don't know what I did that worked, I don't know if he really will go back on meds tomorrow. But I know he felt better today and that an hour ago he made some positive steps.
I also know that I feel better. God answered my prayer and reminded me why I'm here. As I was writing this I remembered something that was said at orientation, though I couldn't tell you where, but I remember hearing someone say that if you influence one kid to make one positive decision, then all the work you do will be worth it.
Today I influenced one kid to make one positive decision.
posted by Beth @ 11:17 AM
3 Comments:
At 1:00 PM,
Sandra S said…
you go Beth one day at a time-that's what I say-remember that you're not alone and you can always count on your fellow LVers for support!
At 1:51 PM,
Jolleen said…
Great job Beth! My thoughts are with you and all of your students.
At 4:29 PM,
Annie said…
GO BETH!
I'm so proud of you!!!
That's awesome! So sorry I didn't get to call you back last night... we'll catch up soon this week!
Love you!
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